Getting out what you put in.

I have recently decided to write about my moments of trials and what has helped me get through tough times. I decided about 3 weeks ago that I would make an effort to pray more than I have ever before. The type of prayer where you dig deep into your soul until tears flow down your cheeks.

When I first started really getting deep into prayer it took a lot of effort and still does at times, but it gets easier and you begin to crave the moments with God in prayer. I’ve always took discipline very serious. It takes discipline to honestly and seriously pray like we should. I asked God some very detailed and tough questions during prayer and my thought life.

One day a friend recommended me to read some books written by the author Dr. Caroline Leaf. As I started reading my heart just melted. The type of questions I asked God were not the type of questions just anyone can answer. And here God was directing me to a book that answered those very questions. There are times in life where a word given to you by a Christian or so called prophet is so vague that really it could have been for anyone. There are times that you think maybe that was God in a situation. Then there are times the answer, moment or word is so right on and so detailed that you know it could have only been God. This was that kind of moment.

Times in life we feel as though maybe God does not hear us. We ask where is God in all the mess of our lives. Why did our lives go this route?! I have realized through seasons of doubt or trouble that it is often times our fault. The decisions we make have consequences and we are the ones that drift from God, as I moved into God and became determined to feel Him more than ever and seek Him the more I see Him speaking back.

The other day I started off my morning praying and asking God to have mercy and grace on a situation I am dealing with where I have failed God and feel stuck between a rock and a hard spot. A difficult place in my life where it is easy for people to look from the outside in and assume or judge, which makes things more difficult for me. I sometimes can be a people pleaser. I beat myself up and beg God to please just have grace until I can figure things out. After prayer I grabbed the book and the first thing it stated was the scripture Lamentations 3:22-23, “The Lord’s mercies… are new every morning”

Moments like these, teaching moments where divine inspiration and revelation awaken my soul even more. I knew God had heard me and although he wants me to make things right, He loves me and does not hate me for my sin. It is easy to forget how much just drawing close to God through prayer or simply reading your bible awakens something in you that you otherwise would never feel. So as I draw closer to God I honestly and genuinely feel Him more and see him speaking to me in ways I know without a shadow of a doubt is an answer to my prayers.

We have to get to a point of desperation for God. A Bulldog kind of faith. Ask yourself how bad do you want a situation to change, how bad do you want God and how bad do you want to make a difference in a lost world full of hurt?! We were born to make a difference, we have a God given Destiny. We need the strength, guidance, wisdom and leading of one who created us to fulfill our God given destiny. You get out of prayer what you out in.